Skip to main content

Full text of "Funny Little Socks: Being the Fourth Book of the Series"

See other formats 


Google 



This is a digital copy of a book lhal w;ls preserved for general ions on library shelves before il was carefully scanned by Google as pari of a project 

to make the world's books discoverable online. 

Il has survived long enough for the copyright to expire and the book to enter the public domain. A public domain book is one thai was never subject 

to copy right or whose legal copyright term has expired. Whether a book is in the public domain may vary country to country. Public domain books 

are our gateways to the past, representing a wealth of history, culture and knowledge that's often dillicull lo discover. 

Marks, notations and other marginalia present in the original volume will appear in this file - a reminder of this book's long journey from the 

publisher lo a library and linally lo you. 

Usage guidelines 

Google is proud lo partner with libraries lo digili/e public domain materials and make them widely accessible. Public domain books belong to the 
public and we are merely their custodians. Nevertheless, this work is expensive, so in order lo keep providing this resource, we have taken steps to 
prevent abuse by commercial panics, including placing Icchnical restrictions on automated querying. 
We also ask that you: 

+ Make n on -commercial use of the files We designed Google Book Search for use by individuals, and we request thai you use these files for 
personal, non -commercial purposes. 

+ Refrain from automated querying Do not send automated queries of any sort lo Google's system: If you are conducting research on machine 
translation, optical character recognition or other areas where access to a large amount of text is helpful, please contact us. We encourage the 
use of public domain materials for these purposes and may be able to help. 

+ Maintain attribution The Google "watermark" you see on each lile is essential for informing people about this project and helping them find 
additional materials through Google Book Search. Please do not remove it. 

+ Keep it legal Whatever your use. remember that you are responsible for ensuring that what you are doing is legal. Do not assume that just 
because we believe a book is in the public domain for users in the United States, that the work is also in the public domain for users in other 

countries. Whether a book is slill in copyright varies from country lo country, and we can'l offer guidance on whether any specific use of 
any specific book is allowed. Please do not assume that a book's appearance in Google Book Search means it can be used in any manner 
anywhere in the world. Copyright infringement liability can be quite severe. 

About Google Book Search 

Google's mission is to organize the world's information and to make it universally accessible and useful. Google Book Search helps readers 
discover the world's books while helping authors and publishers reach new audiences. You can search through I lie lull lexl of 1 1 us book on I lie web 
al |_-.:. :.-.-:: / / books . qooqle . com/| 



(\l a-^O'i. U 



Sarbart College libran? 



Bought with 

Money received from 

Library Fines 



V » ■ T ' 



/ 



4 



^ ' 



/ 



r 

/ 



/ . • 



•'<., 



/ 



C 



t > c / 



THE SOCK STORIES, 

BT "AUNT FANST8" DAUGHTER. 



FUNNY LITTLE SOCKS: 



Biuret 



THE FOUETH BOOK OF THE SEEBES. 



BY 



"AUNT FANNY'S" DAUGHTER, 

*" the aittbob o» "Tin ltttli mm ▲son*" 



NEW TORK: 
LEAVITT & ALLEN, 92 & 94 GRAND ST. 

1865. 



k L A 3^. Ik\ 



frLb2? 918 




Earazx), according to Act of Congress, in the year 1862, by 

8. L. BABEOW, 

In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United States for the 

Southern District of New York. 



JOHN r. TROW, 
Pmxvm, 8tsuottfzx, ahd Eucnorm*, 
60 Greene Street, New York. 



I 



fl 



TO 



DABLIiro LITTLB 



ALLIE BABY, 

These Funny Little Books 



▲HI ArnCTIONATELY 



DEDICATED. 



CONTENTS OF YOL. IV. 



LITTLE MOTHER, 7 

DOLLS AT HOUSEKEEPING, . . • . 40 
THE FAIRY WISH, , 102 



LITTLE MOTHER. 

One day Kitty's mother called her 
little daughter to her, and taking both 
her dimpled dots of hands in her 
own soft white ones, said, " Kitty, my 
darling, I am going to New York this 
morning, to see your dear grandma', 
and I shall have to leave the house in 
your charge until I come back. Do 
you think you can be my little house- 
keeper for to-day ? " 

" Oh yes, mamma ! I should like 
that so much ! I will keep house as 
well as you — that is, 'most, not quite ! " 



8 FUNNY LITTLE SOCKS. 

and Kitty jumped up and down for joy 
at being trusted with such important 
affairs. 

" You must take care of dear little 
Luly and Walter, you know ; see that 
they have their dinners fixed right, 
iand go out walking with them and 
nurse; and if any company comes, 
you must go down and see them, and 
say that mamma has gone to New 
York, will you ? " 

" Yes, mamma ; I will be just as 
good as pie ! " said Kitty, earnestly ; 
Luly and Wawa will like to have me 
for a mother, I guess." 

" Yes ; you are their Little Mother 
for to-day," said her mamma. "I 
know you love me, Kitty, and want to 
save me all the trouble you can; it 



LITTLE MOTHER. 9 

will be a great comfort to me, while I 
am away, to feel that I can trust you 
perfectly ; " and she kissed the little, 
rosy cheek, I'm sure I can't tell how 
many times, and Kitty felt so proud 
and happy that she only wished she 
had been trusted with a much larger 
family of little brothers and sisters, in- 
stead of two ; that she might show the 
more what an excellent Little Mother 
she intended to be. You would wish 
so too, wouldn't you ! yes, of course ! 
Kitty May lived with her papa and 
mamma, Luly and Walter, Mary the 
nurse, and Betty the cook, three 
brown horses, two red cows, a black 
dog,, and a white kitten, at a beautiful 
country seat up the Hudson River. 
She was only eight years old, but her 



10 FUNNY LITTLE SOOKB. 

obedience to her parents, and tender, 
loving care of her little brother and 
sister, were beautiful to see, and a 
shining example to some little girls I 
know. On the day that I am telling 
you about, her papa had gone to town, 
as usual, early in the morning, and 
now here was mamma going too, and 
Kitty would be left to play lady of the 
house as grand as anything. 

Well, the carriage was brought to 
the door, and mamma got in, after 
kissing her little family all round 
about twenty times. Everybody 
rushed to the front piazza to bid her 
good-by in their own fashion. Trip, 
the black dog, jumped and barked 
around the horses, until they nearly 
kicked him, when he sprang away, 



little: mother. 11 

snapping out, " No, # you don't ! no, 
you don't ! " Dody, the white kitten, 
so called by Walter for "Daisy," 
mewed as hard as she could from 
Luly's arms. Walter crowed and 
chuckled, and said, " Boo-bi!" meaning 
good-by ; Luly lisped, " Dood-by, dear 
mamma, div my yove to gan'ma ; " and 
Kitty said, "Good-by, mamma; Til 
be a famous Little Mother — see if I'm 
not!" And so the carriage drove 
away. 

When it was quite out of sight, the 
little girls skipped and climbed, and 
wee Walter was carried by nurse up 
stairs into the nursery ; and Kitty said, 
" Now, Mary, you can just go on with 
your sewing ; you needn't mind us a 



12 FUNNY LITTLE BOOKS. 

bit. I'm going # to take care of the 
children ; mamma said so." 

" Very well, Miss Kitty/' said 
Mary ; " 111 sit in the window here, 
and if you want me, you can call." 

So Mary fixed little Walter in his 
chair, and Luly got hers, and Kitty sat 
down in her mamma's rocking chair, 
to be grander. 

Walter's chair had a little tray fas- 
tened before it, on which his toys were 
put. His dearest plaything was a ri- 
diculous old doll, with no eyes, half a 
wig, such a dilapidated pair of kid 
arms that the stuffing came bursting 
through in every direction, making 
her look as if she had a cotton plan- 
tation inside her/ and the bolls were 
sprouting out ; and such an extremely 



LITTLE MOTHER. 13 

short pair of legs in proportion to her 
body, that it seemed as if they must 
shut into her like a pair of telescopes. 
Besides this, there was a stale sugar 
peacock without a tail, a monkey that 
ran up and down a stick, and a woolly 
dog that could open his mouth and 
bark when you pressed him under- 
neath ; but the doll was the prime fa- 
vorite, after all. Walter called her 
Gawow, and as nobody in the house 
could imagine what he meant by it, it 
was supposed to be a pure piece of in- 
vention, and a very fine sort of thing. 

The children played on peaceably 
together for some time, when all at 
once there came a ring at the bell. 

" Dear me ! " cried Kitty, springing 
up and smoothing down her little 



14 FUNNY LITTLE BOOKS. 

black silk apron in a great flurry. 
"There comes company, and I'm to 
go and see them." 

"Ou!" said Lilly; "me want to 
see tompany too ! " 

" And so you shall, you little dar- 
ing!" said Kitty, kissing her; and, 
sure enough, up came Ellen, the waiter, 
to say that the good minister, Mr. 
Lacy, was down stairs ; for Mrs. May 
had smilingly told her, before she 
went, that " Miss Kitty would see any 
one who called." 

In high glee, yet somewhat awed 
by her grown-up dignity, Kitty let 
Mary brush her soft brown braided 
wig and Lilly's golden curly one; 
then she rushed into her mother's 
room in a hurry, called Luly out into 



LITTLE MOTHER. 15 

the entry, and the little Bisters took 
hold of hands and went down stairs to 
see the company. 

Mr. Lacy was sitting by the win- 
dow, looking ont on the beautiful gar- 
den, and did not know the children 
had entered until he felt a mite of a 
hand put softly on his, and heard two 
little pipy voices saying, "How do 
you do, Mr. Lacy?" The minister 
turned round and burst right out 
laughing! for Kitty, when she ran 
into her mother's room, had put on — 
what do you think? — why, one of 
mamma's caps, which was lying on the 
dressing table ! and the queer little 
thing looked so funny with the lace 
cap perched on top of her head, that 
Mr. Lacy laughed heartily, and said, 



16 FUNNY LITTLE SOCKS. 

" Why, Kitty ! are you the old woman 
that lived in a shoe ? or have you got 
bald all of a sudden, that you have 
taken to caps ? " 

"Oh, I'm Little Mother!" said 
Kitty ; " mamma has gone to the city, 
and left me to take care of the child- 
ren, and the house, and Dody, and 
Trip, until she comes back ; and I'm 
Little Mother to all of them." 

"Well, Little Mother," said Mr. 
Lacy, who was none of your cross, 
crabbed old ministers, with faces as 
sour as vinegar, and voices as sharp 
as a needle, who frighten children half 
out of their wits, forgetful that " of 
such is the kingdom of heaven ; " 
"I hope your children will be well 
brought up, and learn all they should. 



LITTLE MOTHER. 17 

What does this one know?" lifting 
Luly to his knee. 

" I know 'ittle hymn," said Luly, 
smiling up confidently in his face. 

" Can't you say it for me ? " asked 
the minister. " What is it all about ? " 

" 'Bout 'at a 'ittle child can do/' 
lisped Luly. 

« Say it, Luly/' said Kitty. 

Luly folded her cunning fat 
hands over each other, and crossed 
her feet. Then she looked up side- 
ways in Mr. Lacy's face, and sucked 
her tongue a little bit, and at last, all 
at once, in a little singing voice, she 
began : 

" I'm a very 'ittle maid ; 

Hardly can I talk, 'tis true ; 

Yet mamma I'd love to aid — 

What can 'ittle Luly do ? 
rv.— 2 



18 FUNNY LITTLE BOOKS. 

" I can go, on busy feet, 

Errands for her all day through ; 
"Work for her, I feel, is sweet — 
This can 'ittle Luly do ! 

" I can hold the gate long skein 
When 'tis tangled and askew ; 
Never wanting to compain* — 
This can 'ittle Luly do ! 

" I can search, her book to find, 
And be glad to do it, too ! 
I can always quickly mind—* 
This can 'ittle Luly do ! 

" I can ever go up stairs 

Cheerfully, when falls the dew ; 
And with yev'yencef say my prayers— 
This can 'ittle Luly do ! 

" God will help me, if I try ; 

He good children loves to view ; 
Dear Lord Jesus, from on high, 
Pease tell Luly what to do ! " 

* Complain. f Reverence. 



LITTLE MOTHER. 19 

" Ah ! that is a beautiful hymn," 
said the good minister. " Don't you 
know any, Little Mother ? " 

" I am learning a beautiful hymn," 
said Kitty, "but I don't know it yet 
— not quite." 

" No ? " said Mr. Lacy. « Then I 
shall have to tell you something my- 
self, I declare. Here, sit down beside 
me, and listen very attentively." 

Now, what do you think the min- 
ister told them? "Some dreadful, 
dismal story, full of dreadful, wicked 
children, who were sent to prison, I 
suppose ; or an account of how, if they 
ever dared to run down stairs, or look 
out of the window, or sneeze in church, 
on Sundays, they never would get to 
Heaven ! " perhaps you will say. Not 



20 FUNNY LITTLE SOCKS. 

a bit of it. He just trotted Lilly up 
and down on his knee, and told them 
these funny verses : 

" Three little kittens from home ran away, 
Oh dear 1 oh dear ! 
And did you not hear 
All that befell them on that day ? 

Dilly, and Dolly, and Poppledy-polly — 
Did you ever hear, in your life, of such folly ! 

11 Out they ran from their mother's door, 
And skipped, and tripped, 
And danced, and dipped, 
"Way down the road, where they'd ne'er been before 1 
Dilly, and Dolly, and Poppledy-polly, 
Oh deary ! what vnU be the end of their folly ? 

11 ' Come let us go into this barn for mice ! ' 
'Oh don't!' 'Oh stuff! 
I'm hungry enough 
To eat anything that is sav'ry and nice ! ' 
So quoth little Dolly and Poppledy-polly, 
While Dilly looked on, quite aghast at their folly t 



LITTLE MOTHEB. 21 

" So in it they went, quite full of their fun, 
And stared, and glared, 
And meauoed, and scared 
The poor little mice till they made them all run I 
Dilly, and Dolly, and Poppledy-polly ; 
For Dilly, I'm sorry to say, shared their folly. 

" But, alas ! while the kittens were hunting up mice. 
And munching, and crunching 
Their smoking-hot lunching, 
A boy came and caught them all up in a trice ! 
Dilly, and Dolly, and Poppledy-polly ; 
Oh I oh I OH! what a shocking climax to their 
My! 

" Oh, how they struggled and mewed in their fright ! 
And scratched, and snatched 
At the dismal old patched 
Bag they were thrust into, twisted up tight ! 
Dilly, and Dolly, and Poppledy-polly ; 
I warrant, they felt bad enough for their folly. 

" Soon to a stranger house they came ; 

'Oh,maM oh,maM 

Now, only see ihar I ' 
Their captor cried out to an elderly dame; 



22 FUNNY LITTLE SOCKS. 

While Billy, and Dolly, and Poppledy-polly 
Pricked up their ears, and lamented their folly. 

" ' "What, have you brought in a parcel of cats ? 
Go straight to the pond 
And get 'em all drowned ! 1 
I won't have them here, I can tell you ; now s'cats ! ' 
Poor Dilly, and Dolly, and Poppledy-polly 
Set up a loud howl of distress at their folly I 

" Off scampered the boy till he lame to the bank 
Of a very deep pool ; 
Oh, wasn't it cruel! 
And tossed in the bag ! ! To the bottom it sank 1 1 ! 
With Dilly (oh !), and Dolly (oh !), and Poppledy 

polly (oh ! oh !), 
And that was the end of their fun and their folly 1 " 

MOEAL. 

" So, children, I solemnly beg and implore, 
Whatever you do, 
(And you're torments a/ew,) 
You'll never slip out of your dear mother's door ; 
Or, like Dilly, and Dolly, and Poppledy-polly, 
YouTI surely be made to repent of your folly ! n 



LITTLE MOTHER. 23 

The children were very much 
amused with this woful history, 
bursting out laughing without any 
kind of fail when Poppledy-polly, of 
comical memory and name, was men- 
tioned, Luly said, " Oh, me yike that 
name ! me want to call Dody Popply- 
polly." This made Kitty laugh more 
than ever, and they had a great time 
chasing Dody round the hall, and 
catching her, to bawl in her ears 
" Poppledy-polly ! " by way of kindly 
informing her that was to be her new 
name. 

Dody didn't seem to like it much, 
for she jumped out of Luly's arms with 
a squeal and a flourish of her long tail, 
and scampered off faster than ever 
each time. After watching them, and 



24 FUNNY LITTLE BOOKS* 

laughing for a while, Mr. Lacy rose to 
go, saying : 

" Good-by, Little Mother ; I must 
go and see some of the big mothers 
now. Don't forget me on any ac- 
count, and tell your man^ma, when 
she comes home, that I approve your 
style of housekeeping very much in- 
deed." 

" Good-by, Mr. Lacy," said Kitty. 
" Thank you for your funny story." 

"Tank 'ou — funny 'tory!" re- 
peated Luly after her sister. 

Mr. Lacy lifted the little thing up. 
to his shoulder, and held her there a 
minute, saying, " Good-by, Poppledy- 
polly! I hope, when I come again, 
you will know another hymn ttf say." 

Luly didn't like much to be called 



LITTLE MOTHER. 35 

Poppledy-polly, and she said, with an 
air of considerable displeasure, "My 
name Luly May ; " but when the min- 
ister kissed her, and called her "his 
little lamb/' she relented, and cooed, 
" Me yove 'ou, miniter ! ' 

Then something quite sorrowful 
happened; for two great tears gath- 
ered in the minister's eyes, and came 
slowly rolling down his kind face. 
Ah ! he thought of his own little pet 
lamb, who once lisped, too, "Me yove 
'ou ; " who said so now to the dear Je- 
sus ; and with that last thought came 
comfort. Floy was only " sleeping " — 
and setting little Luly gently down, 
Mr. Lacy laid a hand on each childish 
head, saying, " God bless you, my lit- 
tle lambs," and went quietly away. 



26 FUNNY LITTLE SOOKS. 

The children watched him drive off, 
and then capturing Dody once more — 
by the end of her tail this time — Kitty 
popped her in her apron, and lugged, 
her up stairs in triumph. 

There they found Wawa, sitting on 
the floor, with an immense pair of scis- 
sors held in both hands, and an ex- 
pression of extreme horror on his face. 
Mary had left the room, and Kitty, 
running up to her baby brother, pulled 
away the scissors in a great fright, 
exclaiming, " Why, Wawa ! where did 
you get those ? " 

Wawa stared astonished for a 
moment, his great blue eyes opened 
very wide indeed; then he bubbled 
out, " On yer fore (floor) ; yook ! Ga- 
wow all poil!" (spoiled); and poor 



KITTY POPPED I1ER INTO I1EK AFKON 



LITTLE MOTHER. 21 

Wawa puckered up his little rosy 
mouth, and began to cry most pite- 
' ously. 

Luly popped on the floor beside 
him in a minute, and pulling his curly 
head down on her breast, she mur- 
mured, " There — don't <ty, never mat- 
ter, dear bedder — s'eel get well ! " while 
Kitty lifted up poor Gawow, who was 
indeed in a pitiable condition, Wal- 
ter had ornamented her face with* sev- 
eral deep digs of the scissors, which 
made her look as if she had been 
to the wars and come home with a 
number of bullet holes in her. Then, 
not satisfied with this — what does 
that monkey Wawa do but rip up 
her whole body from the neck to the 
waist, and shake out every bit of the 



28 FUffNY LITTLE SOOKS. 

bran all over the carpet ! leaving the 
Wretched Gawow with not the least 
particle of insides. 

Did you ever hear of such a piece 
of mischief? But then Walter was 
such a little fellow — not quite two 
years old; of course he didn't mean 
to do anything wrong, and nobody 
thought of blaming him; so Kitty 
called Mary to come and sweep up 
the • bran, and Luly and Walter were 
soon happily engaged in stuffing Ga- 
wow with rags, making her look as 
good as new — or as good as old, I 
might say ; for she was such a direful 
object in the£rst place, that it seemed 
as though she must have been bought 
in that condition, and never could 
have been otherwise ; after which they 



LITTLE MOTHER. 29 

dressed her in her very best bonnet 
and frock, and treated her to a nice 
dance in the garden, all taking hold 
of hands; until Mary looked out of 
the window and called them to come 
up to dinner. 

Kitty was old enough, now, to dine 
with the grown folks, and behaved 
like a perfect little lady, too ; but on 
this occasion she was going to take 
early dinner in the nursery. 

She and Luly helped Mary pull 
out the nursery table, and set the 
three little plates upon it. Walter's 
dinner was soiiie mashed potato, 
with just a tiny mite of chicken among 
it, minced very fine, and made into an 
elegant hill on his plate, and a " wish- 
ing bone" to suck. Luly had the 



30 FUNNY LITTLE BOOKS. 

same, only with more chicken; and 
Kitty cut up her own wing and slice 
of breast, with her particular knife 
and fork, as nice as you please. 

There was a great deal of merri- 
ment over the dinner, when Walter 
would look away just as Mary gave 
him a spoonful of potato, watching 
her out of the corner of his eye, 
though, and then bob round again and 
say " Feed ! " just as she had put it 
down, thinking he didn't want any 
more. Then he insisted on making 
Gawow taste the wishing bone, and 
poked it into both her eyes in succes- 
sion, as if that was the usual way for 
people to eat things. After they had 
finished the chicken and potato, they 
had some nice custard pudding ; and 



LITTLE MOTHER. 31 

when dinner was over, Kitty went 
right to the wash stand and cleaned 
her teeth, while Luly held up her 
mouth to have Mary brush her little 
pearly teeth. Do you always do this, 
little reader ? If not, let me beg you 
to begin right away. Are they done 
now? Very well, then let us go on 
with the story. 

Pretty soon after, the children 
were dressed to go out walking ; for 
it was in the early spring time when 
all this happened, and still pleasant, in 
the cold country, to take the middle 
of the day for going out. So Kitty 
and Luly had their little blue poplin 
"coat-dresses" buttoned on, and the 
soft white woollen hoods tied under 
their rosy faces, and Walter was 



32 FUNNY LITTLE SOOKS. 

decked out in his new blue coat; 
which pleased him so much that he 
distinguished himself immediately af- 
terward by walking all alone away 
from the door to the window, quite 
across the room, and there sitting 
down suddenly on the floor, much to 
his astonishment. At last they were 
all ready and started off, Kitty and 
Luly hand in hand, and Walter in his 
little carriage. 

The road they, liked best led along 
the top of a high bank, and was called 
" Buena Vista " terrace. There were 
very pretty houses built along here, 
shaded by tall trees ; and if the chil- 
dren peeped cautiously over the iron 
fence that guarded the edge of the 
bank, they could sometimes see the 



LITTLE MOTHEB. S3 

steam cars rushing along the shore 
below. They were very fond of 
watching the hurrying train go by, 
though it frightened them a little, 
particularly when the engine gave a 
shrill scream before stopping at the 
station about a quarter of a mile fur- 
ther on. Kitty and Luly couldn't help 
squealing too when that happened, 
and then laughing very much, and 
scampering on, playing they were 
steam engines. 

Just as they were passing by the 
prettiest house on the terrace, out came 
a young lady that Kitty and Luly 
knew and loved dearly, with a " tre- 
mendous dog" stalking slowly after 
her. 

" Why, Kitty ! " she cried, " is 

iv.— 3 



84 FUNNY LITTLE BOOKS. 

that you ? Nurse, do bring the children 
in. I want to see them so much ! " 

So Mary went to open the gate ; 
but before she could do so, up marched 
Buffo, the "tremendous dog," and 
lifted the latch with his nose! Oh, 
how Kitty and Luly did laugh and 
clap their hands ! but their enjoyment 
and surprise were at full height when 
the kind young lady, whom they called 
Miss Ella, lifted Luly, and Mary held 
Wawa, on Buffo's shaggy back, and 
the . good fellow carried them both 
safely to the house. Wawa crowed 
and laughed, and drummed with his 
heels against the side of his charger ; 
but the brave dog never tried to shake 
him off, and just walked gravely along, 
looking as trustworthy as possible. 



- LITTLE MOTHER. g5 

Then, when the little children got off, 
Kitty mounted somewhat fearfully on 
Buffo's broad back/and rode all around 
the grass plot, laughing with delight. 

After that, Miss Ella made them sit 
down in a great rocking chair on the 
porch, wide enough for all three to 
get in at once, and asked them what 
they had been doing that morning; 
and then Kitty told about her being 
Little Mother, and Luly said, so funny, 
"Miniter tome see Luly and Kitty, 
and tell funny 'tory 'bout Dilly, and 
Dolly, and Popply-polly ; and 'en — 
and 'en I tailed Dody Popply-polly, 
and s'e wan away ! " 

That amused Miss Ella very much, 
and pretty soon she opened her work- 
box, took out a paper of lemon drops, 



36 FUNNY LITTLE BOOKS. 

and gave Luly, and Kitty, and Wawa 
each a handful. Luly was a generous 
little puss, and wanted every one to 
share her " goodies;" so she even 
offered a lemon drop to Buffo, when,* 
what do you think the great black 
fellow did ? He just put his great fore 
paws on Luly's lap, opened his wide 
red mouth, and eat up every one of the 
drops at a mouthful ! 

Poor Luly opened Tier mouth in 
rueful astonishment, and looked very 
much as if she was going to burst out 
crying ; but Miss Ella consoled her by 
giving her some more drops, and Wa- 
wa thrust one of his into her mouth, 
saying, " Dog eat Luly's d'ops ; Wawa 
tony." 

So they talked away till it was 



LITTLE MOTHER. 37 

time to go ; and then Miss Ella kissed 
her little visitors ; and Buffo wanted 
to kiss them too, with his warm red 
tongue ; but Luly took good care to 
be out of the way this time. I expect 
the little thing thought he would eat 
her up like a lemon drop ; so Kitty 
let him lick her hand instead; and 
then Buffo let Miss Ella put Luly and 
Wawa on his back again, and rode 
them down to the gate, where they 
bid good-by to their kind friend. 

Tea was ready for them when they 
came back, and " when fell the dew " 
Luly and Kitty went " cheerfully up 
stairs " to bed. And now a sweet, se- 
rious expression came over Little 
Mother's face, and her great brown 
eyes were filled with loving reverence, 



38 FUNNY LITTLE SOCKS. i 

as Luly, in her little white night 
gown, bent her golden curls on the 
lap of her sister, and lisped out " Now j 

I yay me down to s'eep" — that 
dear, precious little verse that I think 
all the children in the world must say ; 
and prayed "Dear Jesus " to "Vess 
papa and mamma, and dear sister, and 
'ittle bedder, and mate Luly dood 'it- 
tie child ; " and as Little Mother's lips 
were murmuring those words after 
her, the door opened, and there stood 
her own dear mamma and papa, just 
home from the city ; and oh ! I can't 
tell you half how much they loved 
their darling ones when they saw that I 

sweet little scene. ] 

And then there was a merry frolic 
with papa, who rode Luly and Wawa 



LITTLE MOTHER. 39 

on both, shoulders as well as Buffo did ; 
and a happy time with dear mamma, 
who brought them three great oranges 
from grandma', and ever so many 
kisses for her share; and a holy, 
blessed time when that dear mamma 
knelt by her precious Kitty's bedside, 
and prayed God to bless and keep 

Little Mother. 



DOLLS AT HOUSEKEEPING. 

Of all the sweet little ten-year old 
maidens that ever laughed and danced 
through their happy lives, I don't sup- 
pose one had such a wonderful doll's 
house, or such a fine family of dolls, 
as Lina. Let me describe the family 
and their residence. 

In one of the upper rooms of Lina's 
house you would see, if you happened 
to walk in, another whole house built. 
It is two stories high : its front is red 
brick; and a flight of brown stone 
steps, made of sand-paper glued over 



DOLLS AT HOUSEKEEPING. * 41 

wood, leads up to the entrance. It 
has real sashes in the windows, which 
open French fashion; a silver door- 
plate, with the name of " Montague " 
upon it; and a little mat, about as 
large as a half dollar, on the upper 
step ! If we could make ourselves as 
small as dolls, we might walk in, and 
find out that the hall has a dark wood 
floor, some cunning little pictures 
hanging on the wall, a noble black 
walnut staircase, and is lighted with a 
real little hall lamp. 

The parlor, on one side of this hall, 
has a velvet carpet on the floor, satin 
chairs and sofas, a centre table cov- 
ered with tiny books, an etagere full 
of ornaments, and a wicker-work flow- 
er stand filled with flowers. Real little 



42 FUNNY LITTLE BOOKS. 

mantel and pier glasses are over the 
fire place, and between the front win- 
dows, which are hung with elegant 
lace curtains ; and there is, besides, a 
piano-forte, a gold chandelier stuck, 
full of china wax-candles, and a little 
clock that can wind up — though as to 
its going, that has to be imagined, for 
it obstinately represents the time as a 
quarter to twelve, morning, noon, and 
night ! 

On the opposite side of the hall is 
the dining-room. It is furnished with 
a fine side-board, holding a silver tea- 
set and some tiny glass goblets and 
decanters; a round table, which is 
abominably disorderly, it must be con- 
fessed, being spread with a table cloth 
all awry, and covered with a grand 



DOLLS AT HOUSEKEEPING. 43 

dinner of wooden chickens and vege- 
tables of various sorts; a mould of 
yellow-glass jelly, aiid a pair of fancy 
fruit dishes, made of cream candy. 
The dining-room chairs, with real 
leather seats, are scattered about, and 
there is even the daily newspaper 
thrown down on the floor, where the 
master of the house may have left 
it! Up stairs there are three bed- 
rooms, furnished in the same fashion- 
able style ; and, in short, such an ele- 
gant doll's house is not to be found 
anywhere but in a French toy shop. 
This one was brought from Paris by 
Lina's elder brother, and set up in this 
very room last Christmas as a surprise 
for his dear little sister. But it is time 
I should describe the family who lived 



44 FUNNY LITTLE BOOKS. 

in this elegant mansion. So, little 
reader, if you will only take fast hold 
of the end of the author's pen, shut 
up your eyes tight, and then open 
them very quick on this page, heigh ! 
presto ! you and she will be turned 
into little personages just the size of 
dolls, able to walk up the brown stone 
steps, enter the house, and take a peep 
at the Montague family. 

On a lounge by the parlor fire 
sits an elegant lady, who is rather 
skimpy about the wig, and therefore 
holds the honorable post of mamma to 
the family ; as this circumstance, com- 
bined with her looking excessively 
inky about the nose, gives her a some- 
what aged and anxious appearance. 
She wears a blue silk dress with five 



DOLLS AT HOUSEKEEPING. 45 

flounces, a lace cap, and a watch and 
chain ; and her name is Mrs. Charles 
Augustus Montague. Her husband, 
Mr. Charles Augustus, is a china doll 
with a crop of rather scrubby flaxen 
hair, which can be combed and 
brushed as much as Lina chooses. 
Although he is so rich, he has only- 
one suit of clothes, and must even go 
to parties in a pair of checked ging- 
ham trowsers, a red vest, and a blue 
coat with brass buttons ! He is sup- 
posed to be down town at present, 
which circumstance is represented by 
his being unceremoniously thrust into 
a corner upside down. 

Several smaller wax and china 
boys and girls represent the family of 
the ill-used Mr. Montague; but the 



46 FUNNY LITTLE BOOKS. 

belle of the whole doll-community is 
his eldest daughter, Miss Isabella Bel- 
mont Montague. She is a waxen 
young lady of the most splendid de- 
scription ; her hair is arranged like the 
empress', whom, indeed, she greatly 
resembles ; her feet and hands are of 
wax, and she has more dresses than I 
can possibly count. I am afraid you 
will scarcely believe me, but she actu- 
ally has a real little ermine muff and 
tippet, a pair of india-rubbers, an um- 
brella, a camels' hair shawl, and real 
corsets! and was won, with all her 
wardrobe, at one of the raffles in the 
great Union Bazaar. Tou went there, 
didn't you — you cunning little kitten ? 
and saw all the dolls ? I hope you got 
one too, so I do, certainly ! 



DOLLS AT HOUSEKEEPING. 47 

. Besides the Montague family, there 
is a numerous colony of other dolls ; 
but they, poor things, live in any cor- 
ner where Ljna chooses to put them ; 
and all day Sunday are shut up in a 
dark closet, with nothing to do but 
count their fingers and toes, if they 
can contrive to see them ; though they 
have nearly as fine a wardrobe— for 
Liija's great amusement, next to play- 
ing with the whole colony, is to make 
new dresses for them. 

One Saturday afternoon, Lina was 
playing with her dolls in the baby 
house, with two of her little neighbors, 
Minnie and Maggie Elliott, to keep 
her company. It was a dark, fainy 
sort of day ; but what difference did 
that make to the children? They 



48 rmmr little books. 

never wanted to make a parcel of 
stupid morning calls, or go out shop- 
ping and spend all their money on silly 
finery; no — they were full of their 
play in the house, and didn't care a 
doll's shoe-string how hard it rained. 

" Oh, dear ! " said Lina at last ; 
" seems to me this play is getting very 
stupid ! I wish we knew something 
else to play at but everlasting 
< house ! ' " 

" Til tell you what would be great 
fun ! " said little Minnie, looking wise. 
"You know, Lina, we spent a week 
once in the country with ' Alice Night- 
caps ; ' and her sister, ' Aunt Fan- 
ny's ' daughter, showed us such a nice, 
funny play ! Instead of our being 
mothers, and aunts, and fathers, and 



DOLLS AT HOUSEKEEPING. 4& 

the dolls our children, the dolls were 
all the people themselves, and we 
moved them about and spoke for 
them." 

" Yes, it was such a nice plan ! " 
said Maggie ; " you can't think, Lina. 
Suppose we divide these dolls into 
families, and play that Miss Isabella 
Belmont Montague was going to be 
married, and all about it." 

" Oh, yes ! yes ! that will be splen- 
did ! " cried Lina. " Whom will you 
manage, Maggie ? " 

"I'd rather have Miss Isabella," 
said Maggie. 

"And I want Mr. Morris," said 
Minnie. " He shall be the lover." 

" Very well, then Fll make the fa- 
ther and mother talk," said Lina, gen- 

iv. — 4 



50 FUNNY LITTLE SOCKS. 

erously taking the less splendid dolls, 
without a word of mean complaint, 
such as " There, you hateful thing, you 
always want the best ; " or, " I do wish 
I could do as I like with my own 
dolls ! " forgetting that company must 
be allowed to take the best always. 
The other dolls were equally divided 
between the children, and then Lina 
exclaimed, with a delighted little skip 
in the air, " Now, we are all ready to 
begin ! Come, girls, what time shall 
it be?" 

" Oh, have them at breakfast ! " 
chimed both the little visitors; and 
so, in defiance of the parlor clock, the 
time of day was supposed to be eight 
in the morning. The children, with 
many little chuckling pauses, while 



DOLLS AT HOUSEKEEPING. 51 

they considered what to do next, 
twitched the unlucky table "cloth 
straight, put the tea-set on the table, 
and gave the family a wooden beef- 
steak for breakfast, and a large plate- 
ful of wooden buttered toast, which 
came from a box full of such indiges- 
tible dainties. Then they fished Mr. 
Charles Augustus Montague out of 
the corner, and set him upright in a 
chair at the head of the table, with 
his newspaper fastened in his hands, 
by having a couple of large pins stuck 
through it and them. The points of 
the pins showed on the other side, 
and looked as if he had a few extra 
finger nails growing on the backs of 
his hands. Quite a curiosity he'd 
have been for Barnum's Museum, 



52 FUNNY LITTLE SOCKS. 

wouldn't he? you precious little old 
toad. 

Mrs. Montague was seated behind 
the tea-tray, and Miss Isabella was 
reclining on a sofa up stairs, as if she. 
was too lazy to come down when 
the rest of the family did. As the 
front door was only large enough for 
the dolls, the whole back of the house 
came away. Lina and her visitors 
delightedly sat down cross-legged on 
the floor behind it, and the play be- 
gan, the children talking for the dolls. 



Mrs. Montague. (Lina speaks for 
her in a fine voice.) I wish you would 
lay down your paper a moment, 
Charles ; I want to speak to you. 



DOLLS AT HOUSEKEEPING. 53 

Mr. M. Well, my dear, I am lis- 
tening. 

Mrs. M. No, you are not; put 
down the paper! [As this couldn't 
very well be done by the gentle- 
man himself, Maggie twitched it 
away for him, and threw it under the 
table.] 

Mrs. M. Now, Charles, I must 
say I think it is high time Isa- 
bella was married. She is most six 
months old, I declare ! and it strikes 
me we had better see if we can find 
her a husband. 

Mr. M. What you say is very 
sensible, my dear; so I will call to- 
day on my friend Mr. Morris, and 
invite him to dinner. Perhaps they 
will fall in love with each other. 



54 FUNNY LITTLE SOOKS. 

Mrs. M. Oh ! but is lie handsome, 
Mr. Montague ? 

Mr. M. Handsome! I should 
rather think so ! Why, he is nearly 
two feet high, with curly black hair ; 
a nose that can be seen at the side 
— which is more than yours can be, 
Mrs. Montague — and eyes which open 
and shut of themselves when he lies 
down or sits up. Then he is a Seventh 
Regimenter, too, and always wears 
his uniform; which makes him look 
very genteel. 

Mrs. M. Oh, I am sure he must 
be lovely! Do bring him to dinner 
this very day. 

Here Maggie made the dining- 
room door open, and in walked Miss 
Isabella. She wore a pink merino 



* DOLLS AT HOUSEKEEPING. 55 

morning dress, open in front, to show 
her t embroidered petticoat, a pair of 
bronze slippers with pink bows, and a 
net with steel beads in it. Maggie 
set her down hard in one of the 
chairs, and pushed her up to the table ; 
while Minnie, who moved the nigger 
bay doll, who waited on table, picked 
him up by his woolly top-knot, from 
the floor, where he had tumbled, and 
made him hand the young lady a cup 
of tea. Then Maggie began : 

Miss Isabella. Dear me, mamma ! 
this tea's as cold as a stone ! I wish 
you would have breakfast a little 
later; as I'm so tired when I come 
home from a party, that I can't think 
of getting up at seven o'clock. 

Mrs. M- But you must get up, 



56 FUNNY LITTLE BOOKS. 

my love. Besides, we want plenty of 
time to-day, so's we can be ready ; for 
we are going to have company to 
dinner. 

Isabella. Who is coming, mam- 
ma? 

Mrs. M. Mr. Morris, my dear. 

Isabella. Oh, I am so glad ! 

Mrs. M. Yes, you're going to be 
married to-morrow, my dear ; we will 
invite all our relations and. friends, 
and you must have a white satin 
wedding dress ; you certainly must. 

Isabella. How nice ! S'pose we 
go out and buy it now. 

Mrs. M. We can't go to-day; 
it's our eceptin (reception) day, you 
know. 

Mr. M. Well, I 'spect I must go 



DOLLS AT HOUSEKEEPING. 57 

down town. Good-by, my dears. I 
shall certainly ask Mr. Morris to din- 
ner. He's a very nice young man for 
a small dinner party. 

So the children made Mr. Mon- 
tague kiss his wife and daughter; 
which they did by bumping his china 
nose against their cheeks, until it 
nearly made a dent in the wax ; and 
then pranced him down the front steps, 
and put him in his corner again. 

Then Minnie's doll came in* She 
took up Mr. Morris, a composition 
doll, in a Seventh Regiment uniform, 
who had been bought at a fair, and 
began moving him across the floor 
until he was opposite the door. Then 
she commenced talking. 

Mr. Morris. Why, I declare ! here 



58 FUNNY LITTLE SOOKS. 

is Mr. Montague's house. I think I 
will go in and make a call. 

And he ran up the steps, and pre- 
tended to ring the bell ; but as it was 
only a handle, Lina rang the dinner 
belTin^ead. 

Mr. Morris. It's very funny they 
don't answer the bell! (Ting-a-ling- 
ling.) Come ! make haste, I want to 
get in. 

Here Minnie took up Toby, the 
black boy, carried him to the front 
door, and kindly opened it for him. 

Toby. Laws, massa ! is dat you ? 
I was jus' tastin' de jolly, to be sure 
it was good for dinner ! so I couldn't 
come no sooner. 

Mr. Morris. Is Miss Isabella Bejr 
mont Montague at home ? 



DOLLS AT HOUSEKEEPING. 59 

Toby. Yes, massa, de ladies is to 
hum ; walk in de parlor. 

So Mr. Morris came in (with Min- 
nie's hand behind him), and sat down 
on the sofa. It was rather small for 
him, and he covered it up so much 
that there wasn't a bit of room for 
Miss Isabella, when she came down. 
Maggie had dressed her meanwhile in 
her green silk skirt, which had real 
little three-cornered pockets, with 
an embroidered pocket handkerchief 
sticking out of one, and her white 
tucked waist. 

Up jumped Mr. Morris, and made 
her such an elegant bow, that his cap, 
which he was obliged to keep on all 
the time, in consequence of the strap 
being glued fast under his chin, fell 



60 FUNNY LITTLE SOOKB. 

all to one side ; and looked as if the 
top of his head had accidentally come 
off and been stuck on crooked. 

Mr. Morris. Good morning, Miss 
Isabella ; how do you do ? 

Isabella. Very well, thank you. 
How do you do, Mr. Morris ? 

Mr. Morris. Oh, Miss Isabella, I 
should be quite well if I hadn't sitch 
a pain in my heart ! 

Isabella. A pain in your heart ! 
What makes you have that, Mr. 
Morris? 

Mr. Morris. YOU ! 

Isabella. I ! 

Mr. Morris. Oh, Miss Isabella, 
you can't think how I adore you ! I 
love you • so much that it makes my 
eyes shut up when I don't want them 



DOLLS AT HOUSEKEEPING. 61 

to; and my heart beats so that it 
shakes my cap all to one side ! 

Isabella. Dear me, Mr. Morris, 
you iare quite afflitted! but never 
mind — papa is going to have you to 
dinner to-day ; you'd better go right 
down town, so he can ask you. 

Mr. Morris. But I can't eat any 
dinner, Miss Isabella, without you will 
marry me! 

Here Minnie tried to make Mr. 
Morris pop down on his knees; but 
as he wasn't a jointed doll, he lost his 
balance, and tumbled flat on his face 
instead. - 

Miss - Isabella. Here, what are you 
doing ? get up, do, and stop your noise ! 
[For Minnie couldn't help a long- 
sounding o — h ! when her doll flopped 



62 FUNNY LITTLE SOCKS. 

down. So Maggie made the young 
lady catch hold of Mr. Morris's shoul- 
der straps and help twitch him on the 
sofa again, to go on with his proposal.] 

Mr. Morris. Will you marry me, 
Miss Isabella ? I'm such a nice young 
man — you don't know — and we'll live 
in a real pretty house. . 

Miss Isabella. No, I can't marry 
you till after you have come to din- 
ner ; mamma said so. 

Mr. Morris. Well, then, I must 
wait ; but only say that you will have 
me. 

Isabella. Oh, yes ! 

At this point the children laid down 
the dolls and broke into such a merry 
trill of laughter, that it would have 
done anybody's heart good to hear 



DOLLS AT HOUSEKEEPING. 63 

• 

them. It seemed so funny to have the 
dolls making love in this fashion, they 
couldn't help it. As soon as they were 
sober again, the play went on thus : 

Mr. Morris. Well, Miss Isabella, I 
b'lieve I must go now ; I've got an old 
sister at home, who will scold me if I 
don't come back. Can't you 'vite her 
too ? She has a pretty bad time, poor 
thing ! 'cause she is so oldy that she 
is kept on a'shelf till • she's all dusty. 
Her wig is dreadful fuzzy, and some 
of it comes out and stands up at the 
top. But I'll dust her well and stick 
a pin in her wig to keep it on, and 
make her look real nice, if you'll only 
ask her. 

Isabella. Well, I guess she can 



* 



64: FUNNY LITTLE SOCKS. 

come ; but she must have a new dress 
for the wedding. 

Mr. Morris. Yes, she shall, cer- 
tainly. Good-by, Miss Isabella. I'm 
going down town pretty soon, so your 
father can ask me to come. 

Miss Isabella. Oh yes, do ! I 
want you to come velly much. 

"Now, Maggie, we must stop the 
play a little while," said Lina, "and 
fix the dinner for them." 

"Yes, do," cried Maggie; "let's 
see, what shall be for dinner ? " 

" Oh, chicken, that's the nicest ! " 
said Minnie. 

"No, they had chicken yester- 
day," said Lina ; " let them have roast 
beef." 



DOLLS AT HOUSEKEEPING. 65 

" Very well," went on Maggie, who 
was looking over the dishes in the box 
of "eatables/' as Lina called them. 
"Roast beef, mashed potatoes, and 
macaroni." 

" Oh, not macaroni," cried Minnie ; 
"the cheese will bite their tongues." 

" Oh, yes ! Mr. Morris likes maca-. 
roni," said her sister. 

" Well, macaroni, then ; and plum- 
pudding for dessert — and apples." 

" Ah, make them have jelly," said 
Lina; "that's the prettiest thing in 
the box." 

. So the dinner was hunted out, and 
the three children set the table in fine 
style; while Toby, the black boy, whose 
business it certainly was to have done 
it, sat coolly in Mr. Montague's arm- 

iv. — 5 



66 FUNNY LITTLE BOOKS. 

chair, with his master's newspaper in 
his lap, and goggled at the table with- 
out moving an inch. Then Lina 
dressed Mrs. Montague, and Maggie 
and Minnie together dressed Miss Isa- 
bella; and nobody dressed poor Mr. 
Morris, or Mr. Charles Augustus Mon- 
tague ; because they unluckily had 
but one suit a piece, sewed fast on to 
them at that. 

This time Miss Isabella wore a pink 
silk frock, with a deep puffing round 
the bottom, finished at each edge with 
black velvet. Then she had a long 
pink sash, edged with two rows of 
narrow black velvet; a pointed belt 
encircled her waist, and the body of 
her dress was a mass of puffs, with 
narrow black velvet between. On her 



DOLLS AT HOUSEKEEPING. 67 

head was a pink wreath, with long rib- 
bon ends hanging down her back ; and 
tied fast to her wrist was a pink 
feather fan with gold sticks. In fact, 
Miss Isabella looked rather as if she 
were going to a party than coming 
down to dinner; but the children 
thought the pink silk so charming, 
that she must wear it, whether or no. 

Mrs. Montague wore a purple silk, 
a black lace shawl, and a head-dress 
of pink rosebuds and black lace. 

When the ladies were fairly seated 
in the parlor, Lina rang the bell, and 
Minnie and Maggie made Mr. Morris 
come in, leading his sister by the 
hand. She was a dismal object to be- 
hold, sure enough! and if she could 
have blushed for herself, I think she 



68 FUOTTST LITTLE SOCKS. 

certainly would. She wore a green 
barege dress, trimmed with flaming 
red ribbons ; some of the gathers were 
out at the waist, and her petticoat 
showed at the bottom. 

Mr. Morris, or Minnie — I don't 
know which — had stuck the ends of 
her wig down for her once, but they 
had come up again, and looked as if 
her hair had taken to growing with 
the roots uppermost. The end of her 
nose was blacker than Mrs. Monta- 
gue's, and her eyes, which moved with 
a wire like other wax dolls, had got 
out of order somehow, and remained 
stationary, with nothing but the whites 
showing ;. and, altogether, poor Miss 
Morris looked like a two-legged rag- 
bag come home from the wars, with 



DOLLS AT HOUSEKEEPING. 69 

both eyes out, half a nose, and no hair 
worth mentioning. 

Lina made Mr. Montague come 
home as soon as she was rid of the 
dinner bell; and after they had all 
shaken hands until their wax and 
kid and china wrists must have ached, 
the company rather unceremoniously 
marched right into the dining-room. 
I suppose Mr. Montague was tremen- 
dously hungry, and gave his wife's 
hand a good pinch when he shook it, 
to make her hurry things up; but, 
however that may be, they were 
walked in to dinner in straight order. 
Mr. Morris sat by Miss Isabella, with 
his forlorn old sister on the other 
hand, and as the opposite side of the 
table looked rather bare, Minnie pro- 



70 FUNNY LITTLE SOCKS. 

posed that some of the children should 
come down to fill up. 

" Oh, yes — and let them be dread- 
fully naughty and do all sorts of mis- 
chief," said Maggie. So Miss Angelina 
Seraphina Montague, and Master Al- 
gernon Pop-eyes Montague (so called 
because he had glass eyes, which stuck 
out in a lobster-ish fashion), were sent 
for in a hurry and brought down by 
their nurse, a beautiful doll dressed as a 
French bonne, and Maggie. Algernon 
wore the costume of a sailor boy, and 
Angelina was no other than a nun in 
a black robe ! But never mind, they 
did very well to fill up, and sat smirk- 
ing at the company very genteelly. 

So, then, Lina made Mr. Montague 
begin. 



DOLLS AT HOUSEKEEPING. 71 

Mr. Mont. Will you take some 
roast beef, Miss Morris ? 

Algernon. No, papa, help me 
first ! 

Mr. M. Algy Pop-eyes Montague ! 
be still ! Here, Toby, hand Miss Mor- 
ris her plate. 

Algy. Don't you do it, Toby ! 

Mrs. M. Hush up, you naughty 
boy! 

Mr. M. Mr Morris, here's some 
meat for you. 

Mrs. M. Take some macaroni, 
Mr. Morris ; it's real good. 

Mr. Morris. Thank you, ma'am ; I 
think I will. 

So the company were helped; 
though, as the meat and vegetables 
were glued fast to the dishes they 



72 FUNNY LITTLE BOOKS. 

were on, Fm afraid they must have 
had rather a slim dinner. 

Then Maggie went on. 

Miss Isabella. Mr. Morris, I think 
I am rather tired of that uniform of 
yours ; it makes you look too high in 
the neck. When we are married, you 
ought to have a dress coat; 

Angelina. H-a ! h-a-a-a ! he hasn't 
got any other coat ! / wouldn't marry 
an old goose with only one suit ! 

Mrs. M. For shame, Miss! your 
father hadn't but one when we were 
married; but, bless me! what is Al- 
gernon doing ? 

Sure enough, Master Algy was 
doing something extraordinary, for 
Maggie had made him overset the dish 
of potatoes in the middle of the table, 



DOLLS AT HOUSEKEEPING. 73 

and then jump up and sit on the back 
of his chair, with both legs in the air ! 

Mrs. M. My pasence! what a 
naughty boy! Toby, take this bad 
boy right up stairs; I am socked! 
(shocked.) 

Algy. Oh, boo-hoo! boo-hoo! 
please let me stay ! 

Mrs. M. Well, then, behave your- 
self. 

Miss Morris. Mrs. Montague, I 
think you had better send your chil- 
dren away ; they are too bad for any- 
thing. 

Angelina. Oh ! oh ! I wouldn't be 
your child for a dollar ! (" That's just 
what I say to my big sister ! " put in 
Maggie in her proper person.) 

Mrs. M. Oh, they are dear little 



74 FUNNY LITTLE SOCKS. 

things; they only do it in fun, Miss 
Morris. 

Mr. Morris. Well, I don't see it. 
If they were my children, I should 
lock them up in a dark closet. 

Miss Morris. So should I. 

Angelina. H-a! h-a-a-a ! that's just 
where you are kept yourself! 

Miss Morris. Oh, I shall faint ! 

Mrs. M. Angelina! you shaVt 
have any pudding for being so bad. 
There, I guess it's time for dessert," — 
and without condescending to ask if 
the company were through dinner, 
Mrs. Montague, with a wave of her 
lily-white kid hand, ordered Toby to 
clear away the dishes ; and, the pud- 
ding and jelly being put on the table, 
Lina went on : 



DOLLS AT HOUSEKEEPING. 75 

Mr. M. Miss Morris, have some 
plum-pudding ? 

Toby. No, take some ob de jolly, 
missis ; he so jolly good ! /taste um ! 

Mr. M. Toby, I am astonissed! I 
shall have to discharge you to-mor- 
row. 

"And have an Irishman come!" 
cried Minnie ; " and talk funny, like 
our Patrick ! " 

" Yes, that will be real fun ! " said 
Lina. " There, they have had dinner 
enough; let them go in the parlor 
now." 

Accordingly, the company had 
their chairs pushed back for them 
and were taken into the parlor, all but 
the naughty children, who had to be 
sent straight to bed, they were so bad. 



76 FUNNY LITTLE SOCKS. 

Mr. and Mrs. Montague took posses- 
sion of the arm chairs, as they were 
the oldest ; Miss Morris was accommo- 
dated with an uncommonly hard otto- 
man without any back, in the corner ; 
Mr. Morris plumped down on the sofa, 
as that was the only seat large enough 
for him, and the play went on (Min- 
nie speaking). 

Mr. Morris. Miss Isabella, I wish 
you would sing us a song. 

Isabella. Oh, really, I have sitch 
a bad cold. I don't think I can. 

Mr. Morris. Oh, please do, Miss 
Isabella ! Sing that pretty song about 
the little milkmaid. 

Isabella. Well, I'll see if I can. 

So Maggie made the young lady 
take a funny little scrap of music out 



DOLLS AT HOUSEKEEPING. 77 

of the stand (called a Canterbury), 
and put it on the piano. The title of 
the piece on the outside was, "Sou- 
venirs de TOpera," which means in 
English " Recollections of the Opera," 
but it did just as well for a song. Miss 
Isabella was seated at the piano, and 
Maggie moved her hands up and down 
the keys, to look as if she were play- 
ing ; while in her own sweet bird-like 
voice she sang for her this song : 

" ' Where are you going, my pretty maid ? 
Where are. you going, my pretty maid? ' 
1 I'm going a milking, sir,' she said, 
' I'm going a milking, sir,' she said. 

" ' May I go with you, my pretty maid ? 
May I go with you, my pretty maid ? ' 
1 Yes, if you please, kind sir/ she said, 
1 Yes, if you please, kind sir/ she said. 



78 FUNNY LITTLE BOOKS. 

" ' "What is your father, my pretty maid ? 
"What is your father, my pretty maid ? ' 
1 My father's a farmer, sir,' she said, 
1 My father's a farmer, sir,' she said. „ 

11 ' Oh, then may«I marry you, my pretty maid ? 
Then may I marry you, my pretty maid ? ' 
' Yes, if you please, kind sir,' she said, 
' Yes, if you please, kind sir,' she said. 

" ' "What is your fortune, my pretty maid ? 
"What is your fortune, my pretty maid ? ' 
1 My face is my fortune, sir,' she said, 
1 My face is my fortune, sir,' she said. 

" ' Oh, then I carit marry you, my pretty maid ! 
But then I worit marry you, my pretty maid 1 ' 
1 Nobody asked you, sir ! ' she said, 
1 Nobody asked you, sib ! ! ' she said ! " 

The dolls all clapped their hands 
very hard when Miss Isabella finished 
singing, as if they liked it " first rate." 
Mr. Morris leaned back so far in his 



DOLLS AT HOUSEKEEPING. 79 

seat, either from admiration or be- 
cause he was slipping off, that his eyes 
suddenly shut up, and opened with a 
queer little pop inside of him when 
Minnie righted him. As to Miss Mor- 
ris, she glared at the company with 
her old white eyeballs as if she was 
looking down inside of herself to see 

* 

how the pudding had agreed with her. 
. Then Maggie went on. 

Miss Isabella. There! how do 
you like that f 

. Mr. Morris. Oh, thank you, Miss 
Isabella ; it's the sweetest song I ever 
heard. 

Mrs. Montague. Won't you sing 
us a song, Mr. Morris ? 

Mr. M. No, I believe I must go 
now. I have all my things to pack up, 



80 FUNNY LITTLE BOOKS. 

so we can start off travelling right 
away. Come, sister, stick the roots 
of your hair in; and open your dis- 
tressed looking eyes, and let us be off 
home. 

" I wonder if her eyes will open ? " 
said Maggie. 

" Let's * try ! " said Lina. "Give 
the wire a good, hard pull." 

As she spoke, she caught hold of 
the wire and gave a tremendous jerk, 
when, dreadful to relate, pop! out 
came poor Miss Morris's eyes com- 
pletely! and tumbled down some- 
where inside of her! leaving two 
great holes in her head of the most 
fearful description ! 

The children stared at her in round- 
eyed astonishment. Now she was cer- 



DOLLS At HOUSEKEEPING. 81 

tainly too hideous to come to the 
wedding ; and the little girls tried to 
look as sorry as they could for her, 
but it was no use; Miss Morris was 
such a ridiculous object, that they all 
three burst into fits of laughing. Lina, 
who had hold of the poor thing, shook 
so with glee, that the eyes rattled up 
and down inside her head like a pack 
of crackers going off, which made the 
children laugh still moire. 

At last Minnie contrived to check 
herself, and made the brother say, 
rather unfeelingly : 

Mr. Morris. There you go with 
your eyes out ! A pretty figure you've 
made of yourself. 

Miss Isabella. Oh ! oh ! ! oh ! ! ! 
OH!!!! 

iv.~ 6 



82 FUNNY LITTLE BOOKS. 

Mrs. M. Goody, Isabella's got the 
hysterics! Get some water, quick I 
what shall I do ? 

Miss Morris. Oh, my eye ! my eye ! 
it's sick a pain ! 

.' Mr. Montague. Toby, bring some 
water this minute. 

Toby. [Minnie brings him in with 
a pitcher.) Here, massa, here de wa- 
ter. My ! see de ole woman wid her 
eye out ! ha ! ha ! 

Mrs. M. Toby, put down that wa- 
ter, and go 'way. 

Minnie accordingly made believe 
that Toby was pouring water right on 
the floor ; then she turned the pitcher 
upside down in his hand, and spoke 
for him. 

Toby. Dere de water, missis. 



DOLLS AT HOUSEKEEPING. 83 

Mrs. M. Oh! it's all over the 
carpet ! How dare you, Toby ? 

Toby. Why, missis, you told me to 
put down de water! 

Mrs. M. Oh, I shall go distracted ! 

Mr. Morris. Come, sister, I 'spect 
you'd better go home and send for 
Doctor Bumpstead! Maybe he can 
fish up your eyes again, and stick them 
in right side out. A — h! good-by, 
Miss Isabella, good-by, Mrs. Mon- 
tague ! 

All the dolls in chorus. Good- 
by, a — h ! 

" Oh ! did ever anybody have such 
a funny play before!" cried Lina, 
fairly dropping Miss Morris, and clap- 
ping her hands with delight. " I mean 
always to play in this way." 



84 FUNNY LITTLE BOOKS. 

" Yes, it is so nice ! " said Minnie. 
" But, come, Lina, how shall we dress 
Miss Isabella to get married ? " 

"Oh, she has a wedding-dress all 
ready," replied Lina; "white silk 
with lace over." 

" Splendid ! " cried both the sisters. 

"Now, if Mr. Morris could only 
have a plain suit, he would look so 
much more like a bridegroom." 

"Well, perhaps sister will make 
him one," said Lina ; " but what shall 
we do with poor Miss Morris ? " 

The recollection of Miss Morris's 
mishap set them off again laughing ; 
and finally they decided that she 
might come to the wedding, but must 
keep her handkerchief to her eyes all 
the time, as if she were quite over- 



DOLLS AT HOUSEKEEPING. 85 

come by having her brother married ; 
as well she might be, for how would 
her two holes instead of eyes compare 
with Miss Isabella Belmont Montague's 
charms ? 

This point settled, Lina and her lit- 
tle visitors were just beginning to re- 
view the other dolls, to see who would 
look best at the wedding, when a 
knock came at the door, and in 
walked Mary, Lina's nurse, to say 
that Minnie and Maggie were sent 
for! 

"Oh, what a pity!" cried Lina. 
" I wish you could stay all day, and 
all night, and all the rest of the time. 
It's too bad ! " 

" Oh, that the afternoons were for- 
ty-'leven times as long ! " said Maggie. 



86 FUNNY LITTLE SOCKS. 

" Well, we must go, I suppose. Good- 
by, Lina; we'll come Monday after- 
noon, if mamma will let us, and finish 
the play." 

So the children kissed each other, 
and Minnie and Maggie were bundled 
up in their warm coats and hoods, and 
went home. As soon as they were 
gone, Lina ran to her sister Alice with 
Mr. Morris, and begged her to make 
him a suit of black to get married in, 
as Miss Isabella had expressed her 
preference for that style of dress. 
Alice kindly promised she would, and 
that very evening she hunted up some 
black cloth that was left from a cloak 
of hqr mother's, and in a few hours 
Mr. Morris was rigged out in the last 
style of fashion. Here is his carte de 



DOLLS AT HOUSEKEEPING. 81 

visite, taken in his wedding clothes. 
You see, the photograph man left his 
own hat on the table by mistake ; 
doesn't it look funny ? 

It was past Lina's bedtime before 

4 

Mr. Morris was completely dressed; 
but she was allowed to sit up "just 
this once," and when he was finished, 
she kissed Alice a great many times, 
carried him off in triumph, and shut 
him up tight in a box, for fear his 
clothes should get tumbled. 

Monday afternoon, Minnie and 
Maggie came again, bringing with 
them a dear little wax doll of Minnie's, 
and a great paper of sugar-plums, to 
" pl a y party " with. When Mr. Mor- 
ris had been sufficiently admired in his 
new clothes, the children collected the 



88 FUNNY LITTLE SOCKS. 

other dolls, and put the Montague 
family in their house again. Mr. 
Montague was left all alone in the 
parlor to receive the company, and 
the ladies were up stairs in the front 
bed room. Miss Isabella's wedding 
dress was spread out on the elegant 
French bed, all ready for her to 
wear ; and as it is a well-known fact 
that a fashionable lady cannot pos- 
sibly get dressed in less than three 
hours, the time was put at • nine 
o'clock, as the wedding would take 
place at twelve. 

Lina then began the play : 
Mrs. Montague. Come, my dear, 
it is time for you to dress; you've 
only got three hours to get all ready 
in. 



DOLLS AT HOUSEKEEPING. 89 

Miss Isabella. Yes, mamma, I am 
putting on my shoes now. (That is, 
Maggie was putting them on.) Oh, 
dear ! they are a great deal too tight ! 
they hurt me dreadfully. Please let 
me take them pff. 

Mrs. M. No, they are not ; they are 
a beautiful fit ; don't be silly, Isabella. 

Isabella. I think you are real 
mean! There, they are on; now I 
must put on my dress. 

Here Maggie made her stand up, 
and Lina put on her dress and fas- 
tened it. 

Isabella. Oh, my ! what a beau- 
tiful dress ! Can't I keep it on all the 
time, mamma ? 

Mrs. M. Why, no ; of course not ! 
This is your wedding dress. 



90 FUNNY LITTLE BOOKS. ' 

Isabella. Well, then, I mean to 
get married over again next year, so 
I can wear it some more. - 

Mrs. M. Now I must put on your 
veil, my dear, and then you will be all 
ready. 

Here Maggie clapped her hands 
to express Miss Isabella's joy, while 
Lina put on the veil. 

Isabella. Oh, how pretty I look ! 

Mrs. M. Don't be vain, Isabella. 
There, you are dressed ; sit down now, 
while I get ready. 

So Miss Isabella sat down with 
her new frock sticking out all around 
her, like'a perfect balloon, a most mag- 
nificent creature to behold ! Her dress 
was made of white silk, trimmed all 
round the bottom with deep blonde 



DOLLS AT HOUSEKEEPING. 91 

lace, which was finished at the top 
with narrow silver cord. It was 
looped up on one side with a bouquet 
of whitfe flowers, with silver leaves, 
and her waist was covered with a 
blonde lace bertha, and had a bouquet 
of the same flowers on the front, called 
a corsage. She wore a lace veil and a 
wreath of orange blossoms, and in her 
hand, tied fast there, was another large 
bouquet, and a lace-bordered pocket 
handkerchief. As to Mrs. Montague, 
she was hardly less splendidly attired, 
in a mauve silk with eleven flounces, a 
lace collar and sleeves, and a superb 
diamond breastpin — made of glass. 

Well, dear me, I don't know how I 
can find room enough to describe all 
the splendid ladies that came to the 



92 FUNNY LITTLE BOOKS. 

wedding. They were none of them 
quite as elegant as Miss Isabella Bel- 
mont Montague, but they all had on 
their Sunday-go-to-meeting, Fourth- 
of- July, Christmas - and - New - Tear's 
best clothes, and looked as fine as fid- 
dles. Poor Miss Morris came, with her 
handkerchief up to her eyes, and 
stayed so all the time, crying as if her 
heart would break, I presume. She was 
so dismal, in her old green barege, that 
Minnie kindly dressed her in Mrs. 
Montague's purple silk, which fitted 
her quite well ; so she didn't look so 
very bad, after all. Aren't you glad ? 
I am. 

Pretty soon in came the minister, 
who was no other than Angelina ! as 
her black nun's robe was the most like 



DOLLS AT HOUSEKEEPING. 93 

a gown that could be found; and 
when she was set up with her back 
against the centre table, the parlor 
door opened, and in marched the bride, 
and bridegroom. Minnie and Maggie 
held them in their proper places, and 
the minister married them in rhyme ; 
which, it strikes me, was a new style. 
This was what he said : 

" Now you're married, you must obey ; 

* 

You must be true to all you say, 

And live together all your life ; 

And I pronounce you man and wife ! " 

When the marriage ceremony was 
over, the children set Mr. and Mrs. 
Morris down side by side on the sofa, 
and leaving them to entertain the. 
company, and talk for themselves if 
they could, got the supper ready. It 



94 FUNNY UTILE BOOKS. 

was such a grand supper that they 
were obliged to have a table from up 
stairs besides the dining table. Every- 
thing in the box of eatables was 
brought out, even the roast beef and 
buttered toast, two dishes not ordina- 
rily seen at suppers. The sugar-plums 
were disposed around wherever room 
could be found, and when everything 
was ready, Minnie took Toby to the 
parlor door and made him say : 

Toby. 

Ladies and gentlemens, please to come to supper, 
Plum cake, and cream cake, and white bread and butter. 

Up jumped Mr. Morris in such a 

violent hurry that he nearly tumbled 

over, and offered his arm to his bride ; 
which Minnie made him do by bend- 



DOLLS AT HOUSEKEEPING. 95 

ing it round, and pinning his kid hand 
fast to his waistcoat. Maggie and 
Lina jnade the rest of the company 
walk after them in procession, as fast 
as they could lift them up ; and they 
all pranced and paraded round by the 
back of the house into the dining 
room. Only poor Miss Morris was left 
out, and she had tumbled off her chair, 
and was lying behind the piano, on the 
top of her head, with one leg sticking 
straight up in the air like an awning 
post, and the other foot apparently 
boxing her ears, as it was turned back 
in a most extraordinary manner, till it 
touched her head. 

Meanwhile, there were fine times 
going on in the dining room. Mr. 
Montague took the foot of the table, 



96 FUNNY LITTLE BOOKS. 

and the bride and groom the head. 
As soon as they were all seated, Mr. 
Montague said : 

Mr. Montague. Ladies and gen- 
tlemen, don't you think we'd better 
drink the bride's health ? Here, Toby, 
give the company some wine glasses. 

Mrs. M. Dear me, ladies, what a 
pity ! there's only six goblets ; so the 
rest will have to drink out of teacups ! 

All the Dolls (or all the three 
little girls, whichever you please). 
Oh, never mind; that doesn't make 
any difference. 

Mr. Mont. The bride, ladies and 
gentlemen ! 

All the Dolls. Mrs. Morris ! hur- 
ray! hurree! hurror! 

Mrs. M. Now, Isabella, it's time 



DOLLS AT HOUSEKEEPING. 97 

for you to change your dress, my 
dear. You are going travelling, you 
know. 

Isabella. Oh, what a pity ! I 
don't want to take it off a bit ! 

But, of course, she had to. It 
wouldn't have done to go travelling in 
a white silk dress, would it, you dear 
little poppet ? 

So Maggie took Miss Isabella (for 
they called her either that or Mrs. Morris 
by turns, indifferently), away from table, 
and dressed her in her gray travelling 
dress, which was trimmed with black 
velvet and small steel buttons. Then 
she put on her second best bonnet, 
with a blue veil, and her India-rub- 
bers, in case it should be damp, and 
locked up the wedding dress in her 

iv. — 7 



98 FUNNY LITTLE BOOKS. 

trunk, which was about as large as a 
candle box, had a real little lock and 
key, and her initials painted on the 
side. When she was all ready, down 
she came again, to take leave of her 
relations and friends, who had eaten 
up all the wooden refreshments by this 
time (though, strange to say, the 
dishes seemed as full as ever), while 
Minnie, Maggie, and Lina eat up the 
sugar plums; and poor Miss Morris 
sucked her thumbs, I suppose, for not 
a speck of anything else did she get. 

There was a great time bidding 
good-by, and so many hard noses were 
bumped against the bride's cheek 
this time, that they made a dent, 
which looked quite like a dimple, and 
improved her appearance very much 



DOLLS AT HOUSEKEEPING. 99 

indeed. As to Mr. Morris, nobody 
took the slightest notice of him, as is 
usually the case with the bridegroom, 
but he didn't seem to mind it in the 
least ; for he went on smirking at the 
company as blandly as ever. Perhaps 
he didn't want people's noses making 
holes in Ms face ; you wouldn't want 
them made in yours, would you ? you 
dear little Pinkey Winkey! Bless 
your heart ! there's dimples enough in 
that cunning face already. 

But now the carriage was brought 
round to the door, for Mr. and Mrs. 
Morris to go on their travels. It was 
made of — ahem ! — tin, and was drawn 
by two dashing tin horses, with tails 
like comets, and manes like waterfalls, 
and such a great number of bright 



100 FUNKY LITTLE BOOKS. 

red spots painted all over them, that 
they looked as if they had broken out 
with a kind of scarlet measles. 

The bride and bridegroom were 
put in their places, the big trunk was 
hoisted up in front, and away they 
went ! and travelled all the. way down 
the entry to the head of the stairs, 
and through sister Alice's room to the 
fireplace ! My ! what a long journey ! 
'most a hundred miles, I should think ! 
that is, it would seem so to dolls. 

Thus ended the grand play of Miss 
Isabella Belmont Montague's wedding, 
which had taken two whole after- 
noons to finish, and which the children 
thought the most interestingest play 
that ever was. If you want to know 
what became of her after that, I ad- 



DOLLS AT HOUSEKEEPING. 101 

vise you to go right to ' Lina's house 
and ask how Mr. and Mrs. Morris come 
on with their housekeeping! That's 
all there is of this story — BOO ! ! 



THE FAIRY WISH. 

Once upon a time there lived a lit- 
tle old man, with his little old wife, in 
a little old house that ran on wheels. 
Did you ever ? Well, I never did. 

The reason why the little old house 
ran on wheels was, that the little old 
man used to keep a monkey show in 
it, and drove it about for a caravan ; 
with an old white horse, that had a 
blind eye, to draw it; but now the 
monkeys were all dead and buried, and 
the little old man and woman lived all 
alone-ty-donty. It had bright green 



THE FAIRY WISH. 103 

blinds, bright red sides, a bright blue 
door, and bright yellow steps. On the 
bright blue door there was a bright 
brass knocker, which was polished up 
at such a rate that you could see your 
face in it, looking as 1-o-n-g as any- 
thing; and underneath that was a 
bright brass door plate, with the old 
showman's name, " Timmy Timmens," 
on it, which was also polished up until 
you could see your face in it, looking 
as b-r-o-a-d as anything. Did you 
ever f Well, I never did ! 

Inside there was a rag carpet of all 
the colors of the rainbow ; a little old 
four-post bedstead, with a patchwork 
counterpane ; two high-backed rock- 
ing chairs, with patchwork covers over 
the backs ; a table with an oil cloth 



104 FUNNY LITTLE SOCKS. 

cover, that had a litle old tea tray on 
it, set up against the wall ; two bright 
brass candlesticks, and a china tea 
set; and in one corner was a glass 
cupboard, which contained the other 
plates and dishes. Hung against the 
wall over the mantlepiece was a sam- 
pler worked by Mrs. Timmy Timmens 
when she was a girl, which represented 
Noah's ark, with all the animals, of 
exactly the same size, done in cross 
stitch, in such bright grass-green 
worsted that it quite set your teeth 
on edge to look at it. Besides these, 
there was a little round stove, with a 
long stove pipe, that came out on top 
of the caravan, and ended with a 
flourishing weathercock, representing 
a fat old woman in a high gale, with 



THE FAIRY WISH. 105 

her umbrella turned inside out ; which 
moved when the smoke came puffing 
up harder than usual, and had no con- 
nection whatever with any wind that 
blew. 

Now, Mr. Timmy Timmens and his 
wife, being mighty simple old people, 
were fond of reading fairy stories, and 
believed entirely in every word of 
them. They hadn't the smallest doubt 
that sprites and fairies were as com- 
mon as peas this very minute, and 
would have thought it quite a matter 
of course if a wonderful gift had sud- 
denly tumbled down the very stove 
pipe, or a beautiful lady come bursting 
throught the wall, and offered to car- 
ry them off to fairy land in a mother- 
of-pearl chariot, drawn by milk-white 



106 FUNNY LITTLE SOCKS. 

doves. If a cat looked hard at her 
and mewed piteously, the little old 
woman would sigh, " Well, this is fairy 
work, I'll bet a crooked sixpence ! She 
looks like an enchanted princess, poor 
thing ! don't she, Timmy, dear ? " If 
a donkey brayed louder than jusual, 
and seemed more obstinate than ever 
before, the little old man would ex- 
claim, " There, I told you so ! an un- 
fortunate young man, of surpassing 
beauty, enchanted in this dreadful 
shape by a wicked fairy ! That's plain 
to be seen ! No wonder he utters such 
cries of distress ! " and then they both 
groaned together, and waggled their 
heads, and blew their noses so exactly 
in time with two yellow silk pocket 
handkerchiefs, that people thought 



THE OLD MAN AND WOMAN LOOKIHTG TOR FAIRIES. 



THE FAIEY WISH. 107 

two fishmen must be blowing their 
horns at once. Did you ever ? Well, 
/ never did ! 

One fine morning the little old man 
and woman went out to take a walk 
on the common ; for the house stood 
right beside the road, in an empty 
field of scrubby grass, with no fence 
round it. Just behind the house, to 
be sure, was a paling, which enclosed 
a garden about as big as a good-sized 
dining table, where the little old man 
and woman grew one or two cabbages, 
two or three tomatuses, three or four 
potatuses, and four or five radishes, 
for their own eating ; but all the rest 
was just open common. The old 
woman had a large basket in her hand, 
all ready to pop down over any fairies 



108 FUNNY LITTLE BOOKS, 

she might see lying asleep in a blue- 
bell, and the old man was leaning 
heavily on his stick, as he was rather 
feeble, and, besides, had the rheuma- 
tism in his big toe, 

"Dear me, Timmy," said the old 
woman, " what a good thing it would 
be, now, if we could only find a kind 
fairy who would move our house for 
us somewhere nearer the village. Now 
that poor old Dobbin is dead — killed, 
I've no doubt, by a wicked enchanter 
— we can no longer get around from 
place to place without stirring a step 
from the house; and we are so far 
away, that we can't walk over to take 
tea with any of our neighbors. Do let 
us keep a sharp lookout as we walk 



THE FAIRY WISH, 109 

along, and see if we can't find a fairy, 
ring or a fairy flower." 

" With all my heart ! " said Tim ; 
and so they tottered along, peering 
very hard into all the bushes, and hur- 
rying to examine every little patch of 
grass that looked greener and brighter 
than the rest, in the hope that it was 
a fairy ring. All at once, the little old 
man stopped short, and pointed with 
his stick at a beautiful spray of fox- 
glove, 

" There ! " cried Mr. Timmens. 

" Where ? " cried Mrs. Timmens. 

"Right before your eyes!" said 
the little old man. "Don't you see 
it ? A fairy foxglove, as my name is 
Timmy Timmens \" 

« My goodness gracious, stars, and 



110 FUNNY LITTLE SOCKS. 

what's-his-names ! " cried the little old 
woman ; " so there is ! as sure as my 
name is Polly Timmens ! " 

So the little old man and woman 
hurried up to the flower, and after 
trying a great many times to stoop 
down, making their old joints crack 
like so many torpedoes, Mrs, Polly 
succeeded in plucking it, and off they 
went, pell-mell, hurry-scurry, to the 
little old house that ran on wheels, to 
consult their fairy story books, and 
see what was the right thing to be 
done in such a case ! Did you ever ? 
Well, I never did. 

Down sat the little old man in his 
rocking chair with the patchwork 
cover, and down sat the little old 
woman in her rocking chair with the 



THE FAIRY WISH. HI 

patchwork cover; and after a long 
consultation of the " Sorrows of Prince 
Popinjay," and the " Wonderful His- 
tory of the Princess Lillie Bulero and 
the Fairy Allinmieyeo," they discov- 
ered that the proper way to do was 
to hold the fairy foxglove in your 
hand exactly as the clock struck 
twelve, at noon, and say 

" Rorum corum torum snorum, 
Highcum tickleme cockolorum ! " 

seven times ; then shut your eyes tight 
and wish, stand on one leg and turn 
round three times, and, presto! you 
would find, when you opened your 
eyes, that your wish was accom- 
plished ! 

" Dear me ! " cried Mrs, Polly Tim- 
mens when her husband had finished 



112 FUNNY LITTLE SOOKS. 

reading this wonderful charm ; " how 
lucky it is that we should be the ones 
to find the fairy foxglove ! just as we 
were wishing, too, for something of 
the sort. Let me see, it is half past 
eleven now, I declare! Timmy, my 
dear, HI go into the garden and gather 
two or three tomatuses and three or 
four potatuses for dinner, for it would 
be a shame to leave our fine vege- 
tables behind ; and then, as the clock 
strikes twelve, we'll try the fairy spell, 
wish that our house was in the village, 
and see what comes of it." 

So the little old woman, taking a 
small basket off a nail, and a sharp 
knife in her hand, went into the gar- 
den to gather the vegetables. Down 
she plumped beside the bed, and began 



THE FAIRY WISH. 113 

to dig and cut at the potatuses to get 
them up. Her back was turned to the 
house, and the tall stalks and thick 
leaves of the tomato bushes quite hid 
it from her view when she sat on the 
ground, for she was a teeny-tawny lit- 
tle old woman. While she was thus 
engaged, the little old man was sitting 
inside with the book open in one hand, 
for fear he should forget the charm, 
and the fairy foxglove tight in the 
other, waiting impatiently for her re- 
turn. The hands of the clock kept 
getting nearer and nearer to twelve, 
and at last there was only one mo- 
ment wanting to the time. 

"Why, goodness gracious me!" 
cried Mr. Timmy Timmens ; " has Polly 
forgot all about the fairy wish? I 

iv.— 8 



114 FUNNY LITTLE SOCKS, 

declare, I have a great mind to begin 
alone." Just as he said these words, 
the clock began to strike ! and at the 
same moment a tremendous hullabaloo 
arose on the road. " There come the 
fairies ! " squeaked the little old man ; 
and without waiting another second, 
he stood straight up in the middle 
of the floor, and said, in a trembling 
voice : 

" Rorum coram torum snorum, 
Highcum tickleme cockolorum ! " 

seven times over ; then, shutting up his 
eyes as tight as possible, stood on one 
leg, and cried, "Please, good fairy, 
Polly and I wish our house was in the 
middle of the village ! " 

Hardly had he said these words, 
than a long red object, that looked 



THE FAIRY WISH. 115 

wonderfully like a cow's tail, suddenly 
whisked in at the half open door ; the 
wind caught the door, and shut it to, 
slam! bang! and with a jerk that 
made the bright brass knocker give 
a tremendous double knock on the 
bright blue door, and sent the bright 
tin saucepans scattering in every di- 
rection, the house started suddenly 
down on the road on a double-quick 
trot ! Did you ever ? ! Well, I never 
did!! 

It happened that a large drove of 
cows and oxen were going down to 
market that day, and being very hot, 
and tired, and thirsty, they naturally 
objected to being driven in that way 
any longer, and commenced cutting a 
variety of capers that were enough to 



116 FUNNY LITTLE SOCKS. 

frighten you out of your wits. At last 
one irascible little bull, who had been 
riding on the other ones' backs, 
charging at all the innocent ducks, 
geese, and pigs he could find on the 
road, and finally had tossed one of the 
men who were driving him right up in 
the air, dashed on ahead, and, seeing 
the little house with the bright red 
sides, took the color as a personal in- 
sult to himself. Down went his head 1 
and up went his heels, and in another 
minute he would have bounced right 
into poor Mr. Timmy Timmens' dwell- 
ing, when one of the drivers saw him, 
and rushing up, gave him a good whack 
with his whip. Master Bull turned 
round to see what was to pay ; in an 
instant his tail was caught in the door 



THE MAD BOLL. 



THE FAIRY WISH. 117 

as I told you, and, frightened half out 
of his wits, he galloped off, dragging 
the little house on wheels after him, 
and roaring with pain, while the dri- 
vers looked on, roaring with laughter. 
Meanwhile, the little old man re- 
mained standing on one leg, not dar- 
ing to open his eyes, for fear the charm 
would be broken, and only wishing 
that the little old woman were with 
him. At last the house stopped, 
moving with another jerk, that sent 
the little old man toppling back in his 
rocking chair, and a moment after- 
ward the/ door was opened a little bit, 
and a strange voice said, " Well, here 
we are at the village, old gentleman, 
begging your pardon," and then all 
was silent. 



118 FUNNY LITTLE BOOKS. 

Up jumped the little old man, 
opening his eyes very wide this time, 
hobbled to the door, and looked out. 
There, sure enough, he was, in the 
pleasant, shady village street, with 
the church directly opposite, so nice 
for Sundays, and nothing to be seen 
but a drove of cows and oxen going 
down the road at some distance ! 

"Well, was there ever anything 
known like this?" cried Mr. Timmy 
Timmens. "If this isn't the most 
wonderful fairy doings I ever heard 
of! I must go right off to find Polly, 
and tell her the happy news." 

So saying, he went down the 
bright yellow steps, carefully shut the 
bright blue door behind him, and 



THE FAIRY WISH. H9 

toddled off as fast as he could to the 
common. 

Now the little old woman, before 
she had finished digging up the pota- 
tuses, found the sun very warm and 
herself very sleepy, and thinking her 
husband would be sure to call her 
when twelve o'clock came, she just 
got under the shade of the tomatuses, 
and went off in a nice nap. When she 
woke, she jumped up in a hurry, ex- 
claiming, " Why, bless me — how could 
I have forgotten about twelve o'clock ? 
I must make haste into the house this 
minute." But where was the house ? 
The little old woman stared all around 
until she nearly stared her eyes out, 
but it was nowhere to be seen. 

"Why, my goodness gracious, 



120 FUNNY LITTLE BOOKS. 

stars, and what's-his-names ! " squealed 
the little old woman, letting fall her 
knife and basket; " where has the 
house runned to ? Timmy must have 
tried the fairy charm without ever 
telling me ! I mean to go right to the 
village and see if it is there." 

So she gathered up her basket and 
knife, stuffed the basket, and her 
apron, and her pockets with all the 
vegetables she could carry, and started 
off for the village. Before she was 
half way there, however, she met her 
husband. " Where is it ? " " There it 
is ! " they called at the same moment, 
and falling into each other's arms and 
a mud puddle, they stood for a long 
time, saying by turns: "Did you 
ever?" "No, I never!" "Would 



THE FAIRY WISH. 121 

you believe it?" "Not less I see'd 
it ! " and then they took hold of hands 
and trotted off to the little house that 
ran on wheels. 

. There they found it, all high and 
dry, under a big apple tree, looking as 
nice as ninepence. With joyful hearts 
they hurried inside, picked up the 
saucepans, and cooked all the toma- 
tuses and potatuses for dinner, with 
an apple dumpling for dessert, made 
of some of the apples that had fallen 
off the tree ; and after that, the little 
old man and the little old woman, and 
the bright green blinds, and the bright 
red walls, and the bright blue door 
with the bright brass knocker, and the 
bright yellow steps, all lived in peace 
and the middle of the village, believ- 



122 FUNNY LITTLE SOCKS. 

ing more firmly than ever in the exist- 
ence of fairies, and never doubting 
that their house had been moved sole- 
ly by the miraculous power of the 
fairy spell, 

" Rorum coram torum snorum, 
Highcum tickleme cockolorum ! " 

And if they're not dead they live there 
still ! Don't you believe it ? ' Well I 
NEVER did! 



THE END OF THE FOURTH BOOK.